This morning as I slept
I had a
Cold War Spy Dream
You and I were holed up in a hotel room in Moscow
waiting for our contact
with a third man
I was agitated
complaining my hair colour was
too dark and obvious
you waved my doubts away
you dont look like you expect to,
you said,
that’s good.
stop pacing and come sit.
We got the signal
cant recall what it was
a phone call?
Saw his car pull up outside
from our window above
and the three of us headed downstairs
in the old elevator
We walked through the lobby
with its red carpeting and gold embellishment
and waited by the front doors
in the lounge
drinks ordered
as if we had just come down to the bar
we sat as a couple
together on the soft leather sofa
close, your arm around me
drinks on the table in front of us
the third man sat alone
at a separate table
Our contact didn’t come in
minutes ticked by
but he did not emerge
I wanted to go out and see what was happening
you held my wrist
gently but firm
wait, you said softly
wait
but our colleague was more emotional
he acted rashly
and rushed to the door when he saw our man
on the other side of the revolving glass
and suddenly they came from everywhere
faceless men in dark coats
and pounced upon the two
My first instinct
was to go to their aid
but you pulled me closer
stopped me again
there is nothing we can do
you whispered in my ear
he is lost
They were both dragged away
and all of them disappeared in cars
and we
calmly finished our drinks
went back to the room
lay on the bed in each other’s arms
not as lovers
but as old friends and colleagues
who had a shared history
and who had lost much
I cried softly
my head on your chest
and you stroked my hair
We have failed I said
You smiled sadly
We will find another way, you said
It is not over….
And then my cat woke me up.
I have watched too many spy movies in lockdown.
And I did
dye my hair too dark.
